Homeless Diver

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080527/od_nm/cannabis_dc;_ylt=AiqNDdf_Icm2loWqbRKYoeftiBIF

Canine customs training event, using real passenger bags instead of training bags, bag that had “a package of cannabis” is not found by the dogs. Someone just got some weed from the Tokyo cops!

Tue May 27, 11:07 AM ET

TOKYO (Reuters) - One of the travelers who arrived at Tokyo’s Narita airport over the weekend may have picked up an unusual souvenir from customs — a package of cannabis.

A customs official hid the package in a suitcase belonging to a passenger arriving from Hong Kong as a training exercise for sniffer dogs Sunday, but lost track of both drugs and suitcase during the practice session, a spokeswoman for Tokyo customs said.

Customs regulations specify that a training suitcase be used for such exercises, but the official said he had used passengers’ suitcases for similar purposes in the past, domestic media reported.

“The dogs have always been able to find it before,” NHK quoted him as saying. “I became overconfident that it would work.”

Anyone who finds the package should contact Tokyo customs as soon as possible, the spokeswoman said.

(Reporting by Isabel Reynolds; editing by Sophie Hardach)

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I have been all over and notice the varying ‘tastes’ and cusines of different region are usually from really old traditions or whatever…but they’re always old.

So I’m not sure how the Philippines came about with the invention of “Tamis Anghang” or ‘banana catsup’. I noticed they are in love with puting brown gravy on everything but what the hey, gravy has beeneverywhere. Even though calling it ’sauce’ and putting it on fried chicken still gives me pause…I can accept gravy.

This bottle of banana ketchup has a picture of poached eggs, fried chicken, hot dogs, and something that looks like meatloaf slices with boiled egg in the middle. ketchup on fried chicken…. i dunno.

So how old is ketchup/catsup in the Philippines and when did they decide it would be a good idea to mix it with bananas? Its got an interesting taste, but I can only do it in tiny amounts. But then again, they also advertise “Filipino Classics” on the menu and it includes hotdogs. If I only could have been the first person to open a hotdog factory here, I would be a rich man…..

Can you believe this crap? This stores owner actually thought it was a good idea to talk shit about her customers in public, insinuating that they were so full of shit that they would blow $175 on a burger just to show off to their friends. This further implies that her customers are assholes with financially poor friends.

I don’t think I would ever visit again there after hearing the owner thought I was a snob. If I can afford their prices, then I can also afford to eat elsewhere.

Since every site this is on claims to have exclusive copyrights, I’ll just link to the Google search: Wall Street Burger Shoppe insults its customers publicly

(hat tip to McCaw for this one)

NEW YORK - Does that come with fries? Despite the economic downturn, a Lower Manhattan restaurant is now offering a $175 hamburger. It’s made of Kobe beef, topped with gold flakes, black truffles, a thick slab of seared foie gras and aged Gruyere cheese.

Wall Street Burger Shoppe co-owner Heather Tierney thinks of it as “a work of art.”

Tierney says the item attracts Wall Street types who down a few beers and then fork over $175 to “show off in front of their friends.”

So there I was, reading this diving magazine and it was pretty cool. The adverts for dive computers were friggin HUGE wrist units with tonnes of display face. Like something off a sci-fi underwater movie. Oddly enough, these ads for BCD’s look like the simple rental ones in diveshops but they are touted as innovative. And the articles, they described a crapload of places in SE Asia with facinating pristine pictures and looking undisturbed completely. I was like YES! All these new cool dive spots and they’re all nearby! But something is off…

Whats this? An article about someone making an underwater IMAX movie? Who still does that? And that Sea Shepard guy, these people are actually supporting him? Daymn! Not even Green Peace will associate with him.

Halfway thru the magazine I recognize this place in Palawan but the article says its off limits. Hmmmm…. Pictures of remains on the cave floor underwater…hmmm…… Then I spot it, a picture of these people underwater conducting the survey - and this guys mask is the old fashioned round faceplate with the metal band holding the rubber skirt to it. WTF?!?! Thats some old skool shit they dont even sell anymore!

Ok, here’s an article about the University of Philippines placing some area offlimits to harvesting turtles … now I know something is wrong because there is no chance in hell of that actually having any worth. Its so retarded that no-one bothers posting stories like that anymore since they’ll be ignored anyway by fishermen.

Lets check something here - - -oh….. the magazine is 10 years old.

I never thought about it until now, but I am finally broken of the habit of spending hours on the toilet with reading material.

Even in Iraq, I would grab a book and spend an hour in there, sometimes three. Theres no air conditioning in those hooches for the crapper, so you can tell it was a deeply ingrained habit of mine. When  was on night shift, I would take my to-go breakfast place and set it on the sink counter with a bottle of vodka and a few orange juice boxes.  Then drop trou and settle in for some literature…. crapping in there somewhere.

I have a new magazine to read and somehow, that did not come to mind. Since arriving in the Philippines I cannot spend any time in the CR/WC/bathroom/crapper. I think its because they are all wet and musty smelling, even when freshly clened. They dont use ass-wipe here but instead do a modified haji wash. I think. I’ve never watched but I know theres always a damn scoop and no paper. Every floor is sealed tile..or a hole in the ground depending on what poorly decided back ally bar you decided to visit. This tile will dry, but its still got crumbs of shat amongst it. (yes, I had to think for those last 2 words). I spend more water cleaning my floor than myself, lots more.

I dont think the magazine-toilet condition will ever develop in SE Asia nations. They take a functionary attitude to toilet use and bathing. I like my bathroom to be nicer than a VIP lounge, and once chose my hotel in Amsterdam based on the bathroom alone.

It was looking to be such a nice evening with the lessening of my cold. What the hell, lets go see what the guys are up to in the Blue Mango dive shop!

Nice weather, topless French girl on the beach, good breeze…man, that was a good decision I think to myself. Even though the new staff in the hotel can’t figure out the simplest task of taking a food order and drink order from me, its still OK. I’ll just wait for that rum and coke, the one that she repeated back to me. Twenty minutes later, still no drink. BAH I think…I’m not gonna dwell on it and let it ruin my unusually good mood.

Sitting there watching TV, chatting with friends, and sipping on drinks brought from the Bar next door (CocoLoco’s), and the lack of food…’C’ decides to on a trip to Arwanas for some fajitas and we’re taking a visitor. His first day on the isle and soon-to-be Army cadet/officer. A guarantee of good conversation for all of us; perpetuating the good mood. I like.

Arwanas, for some reason, has shut down the kitchen at around 6:30 PM. Really odd, so we ask why. This guy says its because there weren’t any customers….hmmm..then why the hell is it still open with music blasting downstairs and a full staff around? oh yea, there’s no customers because your dumbass keeps turning customers away!

Nextstop - Crafty’s Rooftop! Yes, good call. The food was good as always, the staff cool as hell, the drinks always perfect. Steve didn’t recognize me but what the hey, I haven’t seen him in a few months. Yes, definitely a good call to eat there.

Leaving there, I stop in at Hey Judes! You cant call it a night out unless you have stopped in at Hey Judes at least once. They keep on down the beach while I get a drink. They already have it ready for me in the 10 seconds since they saw me…thats what I call service!
Gotta click to read the rest (more…)

Whilst overcome with a debiltating desease that wrecks armageddon in my sinus cavaties, I have been working on the SEO aspect of WordPress. I am happy with my research…so Rod, Positive Post.

Google Ads are limited to so many per page in order to keep their abuse to a minimum and honestly, to keep their advirtising name from being drug through the mud. I used to think i was gpoing to over wheal myself with ads but not that I’m setting the posts to a smaller scrolling format, I can only have a few and they will end up at the bottom.

Long story short, I put some in some .php that inserts several Ads on the individual post pages…but not on this index page so my placement of ads will remain continuous and conservative - controlled in other words. I can maximize the allowed google usage w/o going overkill and making it annoying.

In the process of this research, I found several sites that take advantage of the same idea but manage to go from ‘pimp’ to ‘dirty whore hustler’ by exploiting the same theory. Fortunately these pages are crappy and anyone that clicks on ads shown there, well, they deserve to be ripped off.

Some positive thoughts for the day:

Mother nature is proving herself fertile as the mating season of flying termites is in full swing. They will have a bountiful season for offspring and new nesting areas! I know this because the flying new queens are all in my house, coming in the windows, under the doors, in my room….

I awoke around 04:30 with a killer sinus problem. I slathered menthol-rub all over my face, neck, chest, around the ears…practically used it like I would if it were sunblock. I even put a dollop up each nostril, and learned thats not such a good idea.

Well, it went away after a while. Now it’s after 17:00 and the sinus issues are back. Just in time for anothe brown-out, so I’ll post this when the power comes back on.

Been really humid here on Boracay recently.  Oh, my head hurts.

This must be how a junkie feels going through withdrawls…the sensation of bugs crawling all over their skin.

Except these are real bugs.  We have these tiny things that look like sugar ants, but I don’t think they are. They are almost translucent with a hint of brown. And really tiny. As in small. So small that I once ate half a pizza that had them on it and didnt notice until I was swatting them off my face. Cant feel them until they start moving your fine hairs around. They come out of nowhere and they swarm really fast to food. But they never sting and I’m not sure they even have stingers–possibly not ants at all.

But DAMNIT>>>GET THE HELL OFF ME!!!!!!

Ya know, theres been so much drama this past week, I’m gonna turn off the SEO entry for this one. But sure enough, I’m still not going to list the details here. In the US, we call that “Pleading the 5th”. Or drinking a 5th….or something that somehow connects alcohol and legal issues…..

Well, the nice weather is gone and the sun came back out yesterday, after raining for almost a week. That creates humidity. OK class, all together now lets pronounce humidity….” DAYMN!” I can see how the different pronunciations might be confusing…in in the mother tongue of fat-crackerese, DAYMN! said loudly is a valid expression of painful humidity.

Lets see…

• I found out my cell phone is jacked up. It sends messages out to people not intended. The clicky sound for the camera also stopped.
• I have been drinking myself stupid recently, worse than normal and I hit black-out drive before 10pm last night.
• I used FaceBook to find a long-lost best friend I had back in the Army.
• I am single again and could sell my sheets to a sperm clinic.
• I found out that I can pack everything I need into 2 bags and a backpack…not bad considering my scuba stuff is in there too.
• I also found out that I can swim in stormy water at 05:30am using a mask with no strap.
• I got my visa renewed, late as usual.
• I found out that I have been here so long that they will not let me leave when I want. I am required to now pay 500 pesos for paperwork a week before and another 1400 pesos at the immigration office in the airport. So, if theres an impending death in the family, basically I’m screwed. Thanks for visiting the Philippines and spending more money than my family makes in a year!…oh and be sure to leave your wallet on the way out. Bye now!
• I have had the feeling of hair-in-the-back-of-my-throat for a solid week now.
• I shaved my head back down; sweating in that mop was not doing me any good.
• I accidentally sent a few hundred emails to people by mixing up the merge of gmail addy books and adding people to Yahoo messenger.
• I had a deep conversation with a guy who spent 5 months in a mental wing of Philippines prison last year…then agreed to have him teach me some diving specialties.
• I cleaned the house spotless last week; now it looks pretty unsanitary.
• I spent way too much money this past week.
• I am going stircrazy on this island. I dont want to dive. I don’t want to see the same people over and over. I dont like tourists anymore. Nothing blows up here. I need to get back to work just to have something to do.
• We have had more and more power outages.
• A big part of Boracay island was without water yesterday. Apparently one of the suppliers were low on supply so they sent people to sneak out and turn off the lines to certain areas so the ‘big guys’ could have water. Small businesses, residential, public…no water. Resorts and spas and anyplace with a swimming pool - lots of water. I watched the guys fan out to turn it back on later. They denied doing it even as about 20 of us watched them. While the denial words were coming out of their mouth, they were kicking sand back over the access cover so it wouldn’t look disturbed.
• I got heartburn last night for the 1st time in months.
• Got a sunburn on my head, neck, and shoulders.
• Looks like I’m losing weight again.

As I type this, leaning on my bed, I look around and cant stand the sight of the inside of this house anymore but really dont want to got be around any one else either. That means I have to wear clothes. On the brighter side, I have a new outlook on finding a better quality of female companion. Not that this will actually happen, but hey, its a start.

She knocked on the door loudly for 5 minutes, every 15 minutes for two hours. Thats not determination, thats fucking stupid. I have one rule about the ‘outside’ here - don’t ever do anything that will create any kind of attention. Pretty simple huh? This list is pretty much a breakdown - applies to friends, not paying guests.

• no knocking on doors unless its really quiet
• no crying
• no loud conversations
• no ‘loudspeaker’ function on the cell phone
• no bringing people up here w/o prior notice
• if it’s daylight, generally stay the hell inside
• no talking to neighbors
• no-no-no talking to the landlords downstairs, just smile-say you don’t know-and don’t stop walking
• no cigarette butts on the ground (all trash included)

Pretty easy stuff. But the door knocking is my peeve with her. Every time she’s done it, I lose my temper in an embarrassing way. But it happens all the damn time. She looks up with these puppy dog ayes and says ‘I’m sowwy..” And that just makes me madder. Its a massive wooden door and a person has to beat the hell out of it to be heard inside the rooms. But by then, it sounds like construction going on nearby…which is exactly what I though it was today. You can tell I’m in a bad mood these past few days.

She knows its a pet peeve of mine, but still never connects the dots as to why I get pissed off.

Not everyone, just the ones that I seem to run into here on Boracay. People on the hillside have this thing for staring point-blank at you. Carrying bags? Everyone will look to see what you have and talk about your purchase in Tagalog.

At the expense of having people say ‘there he goes again talking down about the locals…’, I will admit this about my personal stereotypes: I assosiate this behavior with low-class, uncouth, and people of diminished intelligence. These are people that I refuse to associate with, here or back west. In the USA its like walking thru a trailer park. I refuse to be that poor and stupid again. Have all the pride you want! Seriously, whatever make you feel good about yourself - but don’t think for a second that means everyone else doesn’t think of you as the guttersnipe that you are. I made my own way off the streets and even continued a private education while homeless for a few weeks. I spent my time in jail. I made my own way in this world. I turned down offers from family because they were all attached with strings. I joined the military and afterwards left my own damn country just to be successful! I have no sympathy for those that choose not to.

Yes, I look down upon such people. They are free to sit and watch Jerry Springer all day (or Pinoy Prime here) but I do not have to like them. I have every right to dismiss them.

Ole girl came back after fixing herself for the night. I told her I felt like shit and only wanted to lay down for the night. I had to flat out tell her to get out so I could lock the door for the night…in or out. Simple. She didn’t get it. She wanted to hang around, talk about how she was going out to the bars (w/o actually leaving anytime soon), our friend james could tell I was getting agitated and stayed outside…she cant take a clue even when its said aloud.  I know what she would have done only because shes done it repeatedly - she piddles around like that for an hour then calls me out of the room to come lock the door behind her.

Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch….

I was doing much better this morning but now I almost wish I could hurl. Some salty soup didnt do the trick like it should have. Some pickle juice had me feeling better for a while and the body was responsive too but that was short lived. It didnt help that my lower back was killing me from the start. The only thing I was lifting was a foam mattress but I guess that did it.

And damnit! Why the hell does it smell like piss and milkfish all around the place! Urine oder is wafting around the hillside. The people downstairs are cooking with scrap construction wood again and the smoke is coming inside thru the balcony. Milkfish! I don’t know if thats what it is but Filipinos eat that stuff all the time and it smells like rotting flesh in a garbage dump. Cooked or raw, stinks to high hell. But they like it.

On the bright side, the stormy weather season is early this year! They call it “Habagat” which is when the winds change direction and start coming at us from the west. Even when the typhoons spin up and arrive from the eastern side, because of the rotation of them, the wind actually hits on this side of the island first - directly from the sea. This time, we are up on a hillside with two balconies facing the sea so this should be really sweet! And the wind!  Oh man, it’s gonna kick up and be almost constant for a long time meaning we can kill the aircon pretty much. I can’t wait! I just might jizz right now while typing!

Usually, its a pain to walk about the house with the heat. Soon the rain will start as well. Even though this place is impossible to shutter-up, it still has poor air-flow qualities. But now the wind will come directly thru the house! And much cooler too! weeeeeeeeeee!

Lets start from the beginning, around midnight or so. I was still sick and pissing from my arse. Ole girl was pissing me off with silly little stuff like making childish whining groans and saying “baybeeeee! I’mmmm sooo hungreeeeeey!” Couldnt opt for a simple “do we have something to eat?” or even “I’m hungry”. No, she has to do it in that so fucking annoying voice like a child wanting candy at the supermarket checkout line.

Then the power goes out from 01:00 until almost 03:00 am. No where even close to peak usage/consumption times. Sleep until around 17:00 in the afternoon. Get up and clean some more, going after the kitchen that time. Find a spider in the bag of carrots that I’ve been bitten by before. I really hate them - look mean and hurt like hell. Then an army of ants come out to eat him.

Shave my head again because this cracker just isnt doing so well in the heat these days. But for today, the weather was really nice. Opened the windows to let the wind in.

Our guest stops by and we had a good discussion about biology and genetic sequencing. Quite refreshing since it’s a rare treat on Boracay to have conversations about anything more complicated than sports on TV. Imagine the school geek being sent to a football/baseball summer camp. Thats me, here. I’m not saying that diving is anywhere close to being a ham-fisted knuckle-dragging sport like american football, but lets just leave it by saying that I really enjoyed the hell out of the conversation even when he was way over my head, (he’s a University Professor).

We had a few drinks, he sprite and coke~cola, myself coke/rum and a bottle of 2003 something white wine from Napa Valley. Started on hot-gluing the framework of a paper-mache’ lampshade project hobby of mine. Sealed a floater-jar as part of my personal artificial reef that I’m putting together without telling anyone. Its gonna be small and, erm, well odd. I guess it would more readily fall into an Art category. But by calling it an artificial reef addition, it becomes legal to put it where I intend on putting it. Screw it, if the Rotary club here can get away with dropping a bronze plaque of their chapters seal and call it reef restoration, then I’ll use their excuse too.

ole girl starts cooking a ton of bacon and ham while were talking and fills the kitchen with grease smoke. Talk about a non-cooking person. I cleaned the HELL out of the kitchen during this time. Manage to put a bloody fingerprint on the wall again. Drops of blood on the floor. Don’t know how I cut my finger so deeply.

This whole time, the weather is so nice that I’m not using the aircon and don’t really stand in front of the fan either. Apparently I told him that I would go snorkeling with him in the morning. He leaves around 2 or 3 or 4, I forget. By this time, I’m drunk and take off walking to get some cigarettes. Came back and for some reason, decided that it would be a good time to fry some ham slices, poach a few eggs in hot oil, slap it on a sammich with cheese, and grill the whole damn thing! I barely remember eating it. But my nicely clean kitchen? no more.