Homeless Diver

I was sitting in Cocolocos yesterday evening (Boracay, not the resort island) and friend comes over telling how his illness cleared up and he could go diving again, unlike myself.

Then he says that out near Virgin Drop, him and the shop manager/instructor of Blue Mango diveshop saw a dolphin just under 2 meters long floating in the water not looking injured, but clearly dead. I dont remember if he said it looked like a fresh or old kill, I’ll ask him in the morning.

When they got back, I assume they reported it to the coast guard who wasted no time in snatching it out of the water - didnt tell a soul about it. Someone apparently told someone else because I found this news link about it tonight I didnt think much of it until Chad dropped me a line about a news article on it. (thanks) .

Dolphin found dead off Boracay

Boracay dive sites map

I completely forgot I had these pictures until I saw Jung post this article. Its about a sponge crab that took a plastic bag as its ’sponge’.  This past month, I saw my first sponge crab (huge! carapace almost a foot wide). It was on a night dive with Dustin of Blue Mango. This thing was ignoring us completely and steadily ripping a plant from a rock in 1.5m and would not stop until it had this tiny scrap of ‘growth’ on its back….then scuttling off.

Jen saw this one night in Red Pirates and we all played with it - a hermit crab that had taken a Cheeze-Whiz jar as its ’shell’.

There was this guy that left today….lets call him Lance…mostly because that’s his name.  Well, this happinin’ cool cat spent a good amount of time here for his vacation and decided to throw a going-away party for himself after a month of dutiful service on the island. I found out the night before but everyone else seemed to know about it a week earlier than myself…. I blame the booze.

There was food everywhere. It was on the bar, the table, outside, in the sand when people puked, everywhere. Jesse was fire-dancing drunk again, which made for some good video.  These times are completely off, but they’re in order and thats all you need to know…

• 4pm: Cocolocos, Denis, Daniel, and myself are drinking and thinking about the free-food party later in the night.  Sounds good, but hell, we all started drinking too early. Storm is kicking in.
• 5pm:  Monty is drunk and complaining about ‘if’ and ‘when’ the party’s starting. We assure him they’re already cooking the food, but he insists that ’someone’ told him otherwise.
• 6 pm: Monty’s gone.. passed out is likely.  I’m drunk and eating beef schnitzel at cocolocos.. good salty drunk food.  Forgot about the party.
• 7 pm: cocolocos makes good drinks
• 8 pm: Walk Past Red Pirates, see people gathering…lots of Filipinos….much more than usual for this end of the beach so I stop in.  People gathering for the party–guest of honor not arrived yet.
• 8 pm or so: Lance arrived. We’re all drunk.inside of Red Pirates is packed. Tequila sounds right!
• 8pm: tons of food!   Shitloads!  Fuckin-A Lance… this is great!  I wont list it because…well, it was fucking awsome and you werent there so you lose out!
• 10 pm: inside, outside, garden, and surrounding areas are packed.  Everyone is drunk. They claim to have video of me singing…I hope not.
• 10:15 pm: William, Ryan, every main island singer/performer is here. somewhere.  please damnit—stop ringing the bell! free shots all around. over and over. why is this girl in my pockets…oh yea, thats why. free shots need tequila chasers.
• 11:00pm: Jesse does firedancing with the sticks… drunk as hell.  Tosses a few into the trees and …well, good times.
• 12:00 midnight: storm rages in…. drunks stumble about.  Carla says that her good friend tagged me as the “strange guy”. Great, now I’m a freak stalker and never got to be freaky. Tequila is in order…mucho!
• 12:02 am: Carla tells me that she doesnt remember my telling her that i liked her 4 months back… and says “thats cute”. …………..  hmmm……………………..  ok.  Tequila shot!
• 12:05 am: JD decides to be the “weird guy” stalker he’s already been labeled as
• 01am: something I dont remember, they say i was dancing. Someone has vid and pics.
• 01:? came home, computer.. left again
• 01:? head back to Red Pirates in search of food, theres none there. Jo Jo says theres nothing left but I know he’s full of it. brings me a little plate. Spend the next hour watching this girl try picking up another girl (which is a hot thing to watch) but they’re both too drunk so nothing happens. Bar runs out of tequila and San Mig Light.
• 02:? Blue Mango swimming at the height of the typhoon. Put my camera and 93 pesos and shirt in the dive shop.
• 03:? jeeze, thats some intense swimming and drowning. Lose my house keys, smokes, and sandals.
• 03?: note to self—do not dare the waves to “come on bitch!” when you’re already 2meters deep and the waves are a meter over your head. That shit hurts to get slammed to the ocean bottom in a flat second….and dragged about for another few seconds, on your face.
• 04:? walk back into Red Pirates and see people i dont know. I have shorts on I think. Vangie is macking with a german guy. I tell them all I’ve lost my keys and Vangie somehow knows I have left my outer guestroom unlocked. So I go there and crash after unsuccessfully attempting to break into the house.
• next day: Daniel V. from Sweden walks around the tiny ledge like it was the easiest thing, and gets into the house to unlock it.

Lance, Boracay can be fun…. its even better when you buy the food and booze! I’ve left a lot out of this story…. lots. like the part of me crawling uphill in the hillside flood zone to get home.

Guess I havent been putting my diving in here.  I started the Master Scuba Diver plan with Dustin at Blue Mango. I’m filling up on cert cards and getting Tech I at the end.  His big thing is that I get plenty of diving in and know my skills for the specialty certs.  It does remind me that out all the people I asked, Dustin was the only one that explained RDP tables in a simple manner that was too easy to not understand on 3 dive projections… in under 30 seconds.

He did an excellent job of having me navigate all over a few unknown dive sites with nothing more than a compass and kick count. Since I already have my Rescue and EANx certs, he let me out further than I suspect others might go. I liked it. Tracing a route and returning to the mark is so much more meaningful when you can concentrate and not worry about observers.

For some reason, I’ve been enjoying the hell out of Boracay this past week, almost as if something’s changed.

jeeze, i feel like crap right now. I came home last night and it started raining again so those damn roaches started coming in again… but i forgot that the posion was already down and they’d die in an hour or so. my dumbass started spraying again and with the few drinks in me, guess i stayed in the area too long and inhaled the baygon. ive spent all day in either the bed or the bathroom. was supposed to finish my navigation specialty course with dustin today at blue mango. tomorrow is my last day ’cause he leaves for a week the day after.

Went diving with Dustin yesterday at Blue Mango and enjoyed the hell out of it. I’m tired and just woke up late as hell. Was supposed ot be ther at 08:30, it’s now almost 11:00. I was up all night watching movies and CRAP I’m still tired.

Brown out, black out, power outage; whatever you want to call it. I’m down at Blue Mango and sure enough, the generator is running. Supposedly for 2 months, the power will be out daily.

How does this happen? After a typhoon, they can get it up after 5 days but now the entire island is without electricity for 2 months, every day, during peak usage times.

Isn’t this supposed to be the crown jewel of the Philippines? The pinnacle of all tourism efforts both local and abroad? Akelco is allowed to raise and lower its rates without notice…now the power company can simply cut off power?

I seriously suspect a bullshit decision that benifits certain fuel distributors here on Boracay, Aklan, and where ever they come from. Thats a lot…a LOT of fuel thats going to be used by the resorts. I suspect that someone noticed the increase in sales duringthe typhoon.

Yes, I’m in a much better mood. Why? Easy…. I got myself an aluminum baseball bat. Thats all it took. Have bat, will travel. I bought 1 of only 2 for sale on the island. The other was a wooden thing that was made from a plank board - first hit on anything and it splits. But yea, I walked all the way from D’Mall to my house with it and not a single damn vendor dared ask me to by ANYTHING.  hehe. But a few security and police stopped me, just to see if I was about to wreak havoc upon the general peacefullness of the morning. One even asked me if I had a permit because it was a deadly weapon; I said yea, I have one right here. <swinging bat> He nervously smiled and bid me farewell. I think so anyway.

Really, the spirits are much lighter today.

I was feeling so good that I prepaid a ton of diving courses as a package with Dustin at Blue Mango. Its a lot and it’ll have to be packed in tightly, but theres great rapport with these guys and honestly, they already know me too well to let me fuck it up. I can trust Dustin to make sure I know the material and skills rather than just rubber stamp a form because the money was paid.

Any hoo, thats all

I dont really remember when I started but it was around 04:30 when I woke up and left for Isla Baila, which is still closed for construction, which is OK because I had a tab there. So heck, now I’m just gonna have to bar-hop my way down the beach to all those tiny hotel bars that never close - usually the Korean places. Then I moved on to the Bamboo Lounge (one of a dozen places called Bamboo) because it’s 24′hrs and a last stop for the night owls.

I ordered the usual drinks and also some chicken wings and  onion rings - booze munchies. 30 minutes later, they come out to tell me they dont have this…30 minutes after I had ordered it. Crap. OK, so what can they do? They say they can take out a frozen chicken, chop and fry. Cool. This food comes out another 45 minutes later looking distinctly like it had been choppidy-chopped randomly whilst still frozen.

Next stop, Blue Mango where I drop some stuff in a locker and commence to swimming. A few hours later I’m in Red Pirates dripping all over the place and having a few handfuls of morning drinks. Back to Blue Mango to settle a tab and slide over to Cocolocos for some redbull vodkas. Back to Blue Mango for more drinks.

Thess was packing up for the low season and invited a few people over for a ‘few’ drinks. This might not have been the best idea of the day. Shes cool as hell and the best bartender you will ever find. Great friend. But still….inviting us never ends sublimely.

Now its off to Arwanas for drinking on the roof.  I have no idea why, but the kitchen downstairs decided to close at - - wait for it - - - 2:30 in the afternoon! It’s got an independent management and tends to close during the low points of the day rather than wait for the evening rush…. So we order some Smokes (yes, thats the name of the resto).

There was an Aussie, 2 Brits, 4 Americans (1 chick), 3 Filipinas, and for a few minutes…a few watch/jewelry vendors. Other people came and went for a little while, all of them we knew.  There was yelling from the balcony. There were drinking games like guessing ‘boxers, briefs or nothing’ for each of the group. Wrong guesses involved a shot of Tanduay - which is not meant to be done in shots. It needs something to mask th taste.

The Vendors, we got 2 of them to do shots. Their boss was with em’ and told them to go-ahead. They thought we were gonna buy some watches if they shot the booze - we bought no watches after they did the shots. As they walked down, it dawned on me what kind of headdress they had on and the patch on the vest: Muslim Vendors Association.  BWHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!  I like that, people not too tied up in ones religion to take time out for a small bit of rum. I saw them today down near Tourist Center. They were laughing and pointing at me saying “No watches today sir! Tanduay time!” ; they all laughed that internal kind of laugh you get from Mexican police when you demand your phone call. I’m sure it was sarcastic but hell, it was still funny.

Anyway, back to last night: I remember the food arriving in the daylight. I remember a dude and chick going swimming. I remember someone commenting “I promise, I wont shag ya in the shower - if I do then I’ll give ya all 10,000 pesos from me pocket”. I remember her running down the sidewalk, full tilt, to her room and him trotting off behind her leisurely. I remember making a comment to a Brit about how apparently his town in England didn’t have any dental plans. I remember leaving…and getting home to find the power out. I remember trying to fight a dog - yelling at full volume that I was gonna kill it if it barked one more time. The landlord came to calm me down and had the owners take the dog around the other side of the house (they didnt speak english it seems).

Thats all I remember of yesterday. There are some rather large blocks of time missing.

Someone woke me up about midnight…and thankfully the power was back on. I asked what time did we get back?”, She replied “around 7″.  I was blacked out before 7pm..that might be a new record for me. I slept from 7pm to midnight…then from 1am to 1:30pm………..wow.

Today, July 1st, 2008 marks my one year anniversary on Boracay.

I had parted ways with Iraq and The Company in mid June 2007. No more contractor for me. They gave me a ticket going to Texas by the most lengthy and impossible route imaginable. I had no intention of going back to the USA. In Dubai, I purchased my own ticket to Manila - one way. Copped a squat there for a few weeks for some dental work (bad decision), new glasses (that broke in 4 pieces when a took them off and they refused to replace them), and to wait for Chad. He had been visiting Boracay for 3 or 4 years constantly and suggested staying here for a few months before we parted and looked into other fields of work. Neither of us had any great plans at the time so it sounded like a new plan in motion.

We set foot on July 1st, 2008 and walked up to Blue Mango where Chad secured us a couple of rooms at monthly low-season rates with ease. Vaughn was very accommodating and the party began!

It honestly doesn’t seem like it’s been a whole year.

We might have our differences Chad, but for this past year, I say Thank You. I can easily say that its been a blast and the best time Ive had.

I should get paid for the amount of irresponsibility that exudes from my very essence.

I was taking an easy day, so I thought. Nothing in the house that I cared to eat but I hadn’t been to the ATM in a while and 40 pesos wasnt getting me anything near here. Buuuutttt, there is CocoLocos, a bar that also has a full menu and does take-out orders! They also let me run a tab there…..we have a winner! Times like these, I fall in love with Boracay.

So thats how it started but first, a stop in Red Pirates. Two hours later I’m in Blue Mango drinking with friends. Then finally to CocoLoco’s and order some food…with drinks while waiting of course. Then its back to Mango and I put the food in the cooler while drinking some more. Then its of to Juice bar with a bunch of friends. Meet a lot more friends while there. Bar closes, and we manage to go into a different closed bar…it helps when you have the keys to these things. Even more friends. The gods are smiling on me this night. Sometime around 8am, I make it back to Blue Mango to pick up my dinner.

All I meant to do was walk down and pick up some take-out and come right back home.

I learned a lesson. Life lesson. Never read Tucker Max just before going out unless you already know his shit. Poor decisions will be made.

There was a line in there: “…because I am a bad person.” I used to be a bad person but somewhere between losing military rank 5 times in only 4 years, sitting in jail in Texas, working in Iraq - and now, I seem to have lost it. Fuck it.

I don’t remember leaving the BBQ at Blue Mango. I remember having something like 5 pork chops left then finding out the kitchen staff ate them, after I explicitly said I wanted them for the next day. I dont remember leaving Blue Mango or bringing my bag up to the house mit laptop, or putting the mattress back on my bed…but apparently I did as it was done when I returned around 4am. I do remember talking island conspiracy stories with 3 expat business owners here. Next I remember being in Cocomangas.

I somehow managed to be in Cocomangas beyond closing when the steel shutters were pulled down. That was neat, I think. At least they were nice enough to tell me the booze was locked up instead of kicking me the fuck out. I now remember it all being right behind the bar.

And there were whores. All over. I would call them ‘working girls’ or possibly ‘prostitutes’….but lets be real, if they’re going home with me at 4am with my shitfaced state of mind, yes, they be ho’s. Ho’s need luvin too. And I need a checkup. But not of Boracay.

I think Chad is pissed at me because of the way I brought a small party back to the house just before daybreak. Fuck it, he’ll get over it.

Today, I finally got back in the water again! Whoo Hoo! I had taken my gear down to Blue Mango a few days ago to get it back in the rinse tanks and check it over… re-seasoning it I guess we could say.

We had some really good friends come in the same day and spent about 3 hours in the water tossing Frisbee; myself w/o any sunblock. Needless to say, I got burnt so that after dinner at Arwanas, I was not feeling chipper enough to go out with everyone else. The next day was an ‘aloe-vera and dark room’ day for me as well.

This morning, I rolled down about 07:30 am after a 3rd night of mild insomnia. Sure enough Dustin is rearing for some morning diving - and this mornings dive is Yapak 1. Sweeeet! That’s possibly the most advanced dive site around Boracay without everyone having tech rigs and getting into a specialized dive. You can drop in around 18 meters and slope down to the top of the cave at 33 meters (depending on which direction you’re coming from). Theres another guy who is on his 99th dive for this one, just the three of us.

Starting off, I noticed a bit of water in my 1st stage of the regulators (personal set) because I had apparently tightened the dust cap too tight. Just a few drops and airflow is still good, no biggie. We start heading to the boat and right away my BCD is full-bubbling out the shoulder dump-valve where I had not screwed it back on correctly; Dustin easily fixes this w/o gear removal. Now I’m at 2 strikes.

We head out and the weather is magnificent: warm water, visibility is excellent. We drop in North of the cave, which is a first for me…and the current had already started moving. We did a hard (for me) swim for a solid five minutes against and across the current to the cave - man, out of breath. I think I actually started sweating in my mask. We head down and I drop straight to 44.5 meters while my dive computer is chirping that it no longer want to be my friend during such a rapid descent. Silly Suunto hocky puck.

I look at my air and Holy Crap! I’m sitting at 60 Bar already! I have never in my life seen anyone use a 200 bar tank that fast. Damn, looks like I’m going to be the one ruining this dive to only a single penetration. Anyhoo, we head thru the cave and out the top, get on the boat, head back - and I start feeling queasy. Back at the shop, I have a bout of Montezuma’s revenge and head to the house for some meds and a nap (dive later in the afternoon).

I wake up at 13:30pm and the power is out again, it seems to have been out for a while as my bed is soaking wet in sweat. Cell phone rings and its University of Phoenix trying to get me back into classes earlier than I wanted. While talking, I stand up to find my left ankle is really tight and sore as hell. The pain is shooting up the outside of my left calve and feels like overexerted muscle, I was like where the heck did this come from?!?

So now I’ve got the trots, Brown-out just ended, bedroom smells like rank sweat, can’t walk properly, missed the afternoon dive, and have the embarrassment of ending a dive a lot faster than it should have. All because I went straight for a hard dive after all this time off.

But ya know what? I still enjoyed today. I feel much better; beat up for sure - but definitely better.

It was looking to be such a nice evening with the lessening of my cold. What the hell, lets go see what the guys are up to in the Blue Mango dive shop!

Nice weather, topless French girl on the beach, good breeze…man, that was a good decision I think to myself. Even though the new staff in the hotel can’t figure out the simplest task of taking a food order and drink order from me, its still OK. I’ll just wait for that rum and coke, the one that she repeated back to me. Twenty minutes later, still no drink. BAH I think…I’m not gonna dwell on it and let it ruin my unusually good mood.

Sitting there watching TV, chatting with friends, and sipping on drinks brought from the Bar next door (CocoLoco’s), and the lack of food…’C’ decides to on a trip to Arwanas for some fajitas and we’re taking a visitor. His first day on the isle and soon-to-be Army cadet/officer. A guarantee of good conversation for all of us; perpetuating the good mood. I like.

Arwanas, for some reason, has shut down the kitchen at around 6:30 PM. Really odd, so we ask why. This guy says its because there weren’t any customers….hmmm..then why the hell is it still open with music blasting downstairs and a full staff around? oh yea, there’s no customers because your dumbass keeps turning customers away!

Nextstop - Crafty’s Rooftop! Yes, good call. The food was good as always, the staff cool as hell, the drinks always perfect. Steve didn’t recognize me but what the hey, I haven’t seen him in a few months. Yes, definitely a good call to eat there.

Leaving there, I stop in at Hey Judes! You cant call it a night out unless you have stopped in at Hey Judes at least once. They keep on down the beach while I get a drink. They already have it ready for me in the 10 seconds since they saw me…thats what I call service!
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