Homeless Diver

I was sitting in Cocolocos yesterday evening (Boracay, not the resort island) and friend comes over telling how his illness cleared up and he could go diving again, unlike myself.

Then he says that out near Virgin Drop, him and the shop manager/instructor of Blue Mango diveshop saw a dolphin just under 2 meters long floating in the water not looking injured, but clearly dead. I dont remember if he said it looked like a fresh or old kill, I’ll ask him in the morning.

When they got back, I assume they reported it to the coast guard who wasted no time in snatching it out of the water - didnt tell a soul about it. Someone apparently told someone else because I found this news link about it tonight I didnt think much of it until Chad dropped me a line about a news article on it. (thanks) .

Dolphin found dead off Boracay

Boracay dive sites map

It started simply enough at Cocolocos with Denis, then to Red Pirates where I saw Sally for the first time in months (still cool as hell and cute as it gets). Didnt know it at the time but I stayed ther until midinght before meeting up with Daniel and Remus at Juice Bar.

• 00:30 - Juice Bar, I asked Jay to set me on fire, which he certainly did with a fireball that shot a meter out from the bar. People yelled “chug” so I did. Found Jaime (his birthday also) and he passes around a bunch of shots from a bottle.
• 01:30 - Hey Jude, a few drinks at most. Someone gets Jammers.
• 0?:30 - Summer Place, 3 of us went there but I honestly couldn’t tell you much of what happened. I remember sitting on the back of a bench and flipping it up. Daniel mackin’ on a UK girl, lots of vodka/redbulls.
• 0?:?? - Cocomangas, I dont remember staying there long but someone said there was a lot of back slapping.
• ???? - Gilly’s, this is all I remember: I knew almost every employee there and one of the DJ’s. lots of high-fiving, a few drinks. I tried dancing with these two girls, they both looked at me like I had cooties and danced themselves around so their backs were facing me. I thought that was funny at the time. I remember talking to a kiteboarder on the beach there. I remember leaving to get a BBQ stick from Andoks and bring it back. I forgot about the coming back part and hopped on a motorbike and went home almost crashing the driver a few times with my inability to sit upright and eat chicken at the same time whilst grabbing his belt loop like a handle.

Thats all I remember. No walk home or how I smashed my toe so hard I think it might be broken at the knuckle. Had to cancell my diving for a few days.  I walked in front on daMarios and all the girls erupted in “we heard something naughty about you” kind of laughs. Daniel said they also did that to him earlier in the day…turns out one of them was there that night and we both tried picking her up….I think, they seem really shy about explaining it.

I saw Remus last night and he said I was buying drinks for everyone at Gully’s, at one point the whole bar was lined up with tequila shots - courtesy of me.  hmmmm…. I came home with most of my cash so I think I might have skipped out on a large bar tab.. oops.

Dear Boracay, you injure me with your nightlife. I love it!

There was this guy that left today….lets call him Lance…mostly because that’s his name.  Well, this happinin’ cool cat spent a good amount of time here for his vacation and decided to throw a going-away party for himself after a month of dutiful service on the island. I found out the night before but everyone else seemed to know about it a week earlier than myself…. I blame the booze.

There was food everywhere. It was on the bar, the table, outside, in the sand when people puked, everywhere. Jesse was fire-dancing drunk again, which made for some good video.  These times are completely off, but they’re in order and thats all you need to know…

• 4pm: Cocolocos, Denis, Daniel, and myself are drinking and thinking about the free-food party later in the night.  Sounds good, but hell, we all started drinking too early. Storm is kicking in.
• 5pm:  Monty is drunk and complaining about ‘if’ and ‘when’ the party’s starting. We assure him they’re already cooking the food, but he insists that ’someone’ told him otherwise.
• 6 pm: Monty’s gone.. passed out is likely.  I’m drunk and eating beef schnitzel at cocolocos.. good salty drunk food.  Forgot about the party.
• 7 pm: cocolocos makes good drinks
• 8 pm: Walk Past Red Pirates, see people gathering…lots of Filipinos….much more than usual for this end of the beach so I stop in.  People gathering for the party–guest of honor not arrived yet.
• 8 pm or so: Lance arrived. We’re all drunk.inside of Red Pirates is packed. Tequila sounds right!
• 8pm: tons of food!   Shitloads!  Fuckin-A Lance… this is great!  I wont list it because…well, it was fucking awsome and you werent there so you lose out!
• 10 pm: inside, outside, garden, and surrounding areas are packed.  Everyone is drunk. They claim to have video of me singing…I hope not.
• 10:15 pm: William, Ryan, every main island singer/performer is here. somewhere.  please damnit—stop ringing the bell! free shots all around. over and over. why is this girl in my pockets…oh yea, thats why. free shots need tequila chasers.
• 11:00pm: Jesse does firedancing with the sticks… drunk as hell.  Tosses a few into the trees and …well, good times.
• 12:00 midnight: storm rages in…. drunks stumble about.  Carla says that her good friend tagged me as the “strange guy”. Great, now I’m a freak stalker and never got to be freaky. Tequila is in order…mucho!
• 12:02 am: Carla tells me that she doesnt remember my telling her that i liked her 4 months back… and says “thats cute”. …………..  hmmm……………………..  ok.  Tequila shot!
• 12:05 am: JD decides to be the “weird guy” stalker he’s already been labeled as
• 01am: something I dont remember, they say i was dancing. Someone has vid and pics.
• 01:? came home, computer.. left again
• 01:? head back to Red Pirates in search of food, theres none there. Jo Jo says theres nothing left but I know he’s full of it. brings me a little plate. Spend the next hour watching this girl try picking up another girl (which is a hot thing to watch) but they’re both too drunk so nothing happens. Bar runs out of tequila and San Mig Light.
• 02:? Blue Mango swimming at the height of the typhoon. Put my camera and 93 pesos and shirt in the dive shop.
• 03:? jeeze, thats some intense swimming and drowning. Lose my house keys, smokes, and sandals.
• 03?: note to self—do not dare the waves to “come on bitch!” when you’re already 2meters deep and the waves are a meter over your head. That shit hurts to get slammed to the ocean bottom in a flat second….and dragged about for another few seconds, on your face.
• 04:? walk back into Red Pirates and see people i dont know. I have shorts on I think. Vangie is macking with a german guy. I tell them all I’ve lost my keys and Vangie somehow knows I have left my outer guestroom unlocked. So I go there and crash after unsuccessfully attempting to break into the house.
• next day: Daniel V. from Sweden walks around the tiny ledge like it was the easiest thing, and gets into the house to unlock it.

Lance, Boracay can be fun…. its even better when you buy the food and booze! I’ve left a lot out of this story…. lots. like the part of me crawling uphill in the hillside flood zone to get home.

I dont really remember when I started but it was around 04:30 when I woke up and left for Isla Baila, which is still closed for construction, which is OK because I had a tab there. So heck, now I’m just gonna have to bar-hop my way down the beach to all those tiny hotel bars that never close - usually the Korean places. Then I moved on to the Bamboo Lounge (one of a dozen places called Bamboo) because it’s 24′hrs and a last stop for the night owls.

I ordered the usual drinks and also some chicken wings and  onion rings - booze munchies. 30 minutes later, they come out to tell me they dont have this…30 minutes after I had ordered it. Crap. OK, so what can they do? They say they can take out a frozen chicken, chop and fry. Cool. This food comes out another 45 minutes later looking distinctly like it had been choppidy-chopped randomly whilst still frozen.

Next stop, Blue Mango where I drop some stuff in a locker and commence to swimming. A few hours later I’m in Red Pirates dripping all over the place and having a few handfuls of morning drinks. Back to Blue Mango to settle a tab and slide over to Cocolocos for some redbull vodkas. Back to Blue Mango for more drinks.

Thess was packing up for the low season and invited a few people over for a ‘few’ drinks. This might not have been the best idea of the day. Shes cool as hell and the best bartender you will ever find. Great friend. But still….inviting us never ends sublimely.

Now its off to Arwanas for drinking on the roof.  I have no idea why, but the kitchen downstairs decided to close at - - wait for it - - - 2:30 in the afternoon! It’s got an independent management and tends to close during the low points of the day rather than wait for the evening rush…. So we order some Smokes (yes, thats the name of the resto).

There was an Aussie, 2 Brits, 4 Americans (1 chick), 3 Filipinas, and for a few minutes…a few watch/jewelry vendors. Other people came and went for a little while, all of them we knew.  There was yelling from the balcony. There were drinking games like guessing ‘boxers, briefs or nothing’ for each of the group. Wrong guesses involved a shot of Tanduay - which is not meant to be done in shots. It needs something to mask th taste.

The Vendors, we got 2 of them to do shots. Their boss was with em’ and told them to go-ahead. They thought we were gonna buy some watches if they shot the booze - we bought no watches after they did the shots. As they walked down, it dawned on me what kind of headdress they had on and the patch on the vest: Muslim Vendors Association.  BWHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!  I like that, people not too tied up in ones religion to take time out for a small bit of rum. I saw them today down near Tourist Center. They were laughing and pointing at me saying “No watches today sir! Tanduay time!” ; they all laughed that internal kind of laugh you get from Mexican police when you demand your phone call. I’m sure it was sarcastic but hell, it was still funny.

Anyway, back to last night: I remember the food arriving in the daylight. I remember a dude and chick going swimming. I remember someone commenting “I promise, I wont shag ya in the shower - if I do then I’ll give ya all 10,000 pesos from me pocket”. I remember her running down the sidewalk, full tilt, to her room and him trotting off behind her leisurely. I remember making a comment to a Brit about how apparently his town in England didn’t have any dental plans. I remember leaving…and getting home to find the power out. I remember trying to fight a dog - yelling at full volume that I was gonna kill it if it barked one more time. The landlord came to calm me down and had the owners take the dog around the other side of the house (they didnt speak english it seems).

Thats all I remember of yesterday. There are some rather large blocks of time missing.

Someone woke me up about midnight…and thankfully the power was back on. I asked what time did we get back?”, She replied “around 7″.  I was blacked out before 7pm..that might be a new record for me. I slept from 7pm to midnight…then from 1am to 1:30pm………..wow.