Homeless Diver

Sugar ants can predict typhoons - the recent invasion completely disappeared the morning before the typhoon hit Boracay. They came back at the end of the last rain and are back in force.

There is a former NASA engineer working as night-shift manager at a 24-hour bar in D’Mall….uh huh

Drunkenly walking thru a typhoon is easier than reporters make it look…either that or they’re drunk themselves.

NEVER take that large ‘emergency’ frozen bottle of water out of the freezer for longer than is necessary, it might make a difference between a little trash and a lot of rotten food.

Drunk Canadians with an accent like a drunk east Texan redneck should not be allowed in bars less than a kilometer from me.

Andoks is capable of closing; who would have thought.

Andoks does not need refrigeration: you will feel just as miserable the next morning regardless of refrigerator or not.

Solitaire by candle light sucks. It truly sucks. You cannot imagine how bad it wholly sucks.

Casual sex becomes “do you have a generator?”

Tokay geckos dont care if you just cleaned the house from top-to-bottom, they will crap huge nuggets whenever they please.

The ability to offer a clean-water shower can be traded for earthly sins.

Cocomangas never stops partying…ever.

The Baboy store will sell you tanduay in the middle of a typhoon…but only if he has a bottle left for himself.

Do not order any dishes with meat from a place that only uses generators at night time.

I can withstand being hit in the head, neck, and shoulders by flying coconuts. This is not bragging, but its still pretty damn interesting. Ok, yea its bragging.

The center of D’Mall is impervious to typhoon winds…possibly connected to the Bermuda Triangle

I am not the only person on this island that apologizes after pissing off people the night before.

The staff of Red Pirates are a dedicated bunch that let nothing stop the booze from flowing; even if that includes one of them standing on the thatch/nippa roof in sandblasting wind and rain to repair a few minor leaks.

Bags of trash are capable of levitating 200 meters and into other peoples houses.

It is possible to out-party people who have lived a party life for the last 5 years.

My neighbors do not need a 2-man-lift generator for basic sanitation, lights, fan, hotwater, cooking….no, they need it for a karaoke machine.

Having a spare and fully charged battery for the cell phone only matters when….when…. hell, it didnt matter. The service was out.

Sand can, and will, inform you of new body cracks it has found.

Rubbing alcohol is not a good way to clean the tabletop whilst using candles.

source

(this is the most blandest, under lubricated, thick walled, boring condom out there….obviously HR had something to do with its selection)

Intrepid souls braving the cold climes of Antarctica clearly find traditional ways of keeping warm.

McMurdo Station has taken delivery of 16,488 condoms. The shipment last month constitutes a year’s supply, ensuring the frisky can stay safe in the sack.

The station’s manager, Bill Henriksen, said he was initially surprised by the delivery but said there was “not really” anything unusual about McMurdo staff.

“During the summertime we’ve got a normal population of 1100 people and this is for the year round not for the 125 people we have here in the winter,” he said.

The last flight out of McMurdo before winter was on February 26. There will be no relief from winter’s darkness until the first sunrise of spring, on August 20.

“There are some people that tend to get a little bit bored but, for the most part, people who come down here know how to occupy their time,” Henriksen said.

The condoms would be freely available to staff avoiding any embarrassing purchases.

“Since everybody knows everyone, it becomes a little bit uncomfortable we’d prefer to just provide them and do it that way so that people don’t do without.”

Ok…I looked it up and averaged the staff population for McMurdo over the summer/winter fluxuations…and that comes to about 27 condoms per person, per year. shoot…if only a few people are getting nookie, I would be strutting tall as ever into the store, slap a few dollars down loudly and announce to anyone within earshot “If you don’t mind, I would sincerely like to purchase one of your fine prophylactics. Yes sir, I need a condom!”