Homeless Diver

Illness and food poisoning will not stop this meat-eater from getting some good chow.

I finally hobbled my way to BudgetMart last night for some real food. Monterey Meats changed companies and phone numbers to “Carne Bora” , but not employees, so I couldnt get anything delivered here.

• 21:30: I point at the huge hunk of beef in the display and declare my intent to get the whole damn thing. This confuses the guy so I said “the whole damn thing”. Also get apple juice and milk, frozen chicken, frozen pork tender loin, and bacon. Healthy stuff.
• 22:00: Make a drink of Tanduay in the kitchen but drink the entire liter carton of apple juice instead…then I drink the rum.
• 22:30: Cut the entire chunk-o-beef and marinade - only cook half. Drink more Tanduay.
• 23:00: Eating dead cow with lots of cayenne and Tanduay. Drink some of the milk.
• 24:00: My ‘cousin’ comes over and ask to turn on the aircon, says its hot. I decline. She doesnt like the spicy flesh of Mr. Moo. I drink more Tanduay and then some milk whilst attempting to do some college courses…I’m loosing interest in continuing my higher education. I remember that Cialis is a 3-day drug and put this to good use.
• 04:00: she tries turning on the aircon again, doesn’t happen but now that I’m awake, its time to build more international relations.
• 04:45: Treatise discussions are broken off as I rush to make a donation to porcelain disposal. Come back and she tells me I’m burning up…which is odd because I’m freezing and the aircon is off.
• 05:00 - 07:30: Multiple trips for Class I download. I can understand the Montezuma’s revenge as coming from a liter of milk, a liter of apple juice, and 2 kilos of really spicy beef. But I have no idea where the fever came from and why I’m laying in bed literally shivering while present company is visibly sweating lightly.
• 07:30: I wake up to turn on the aircon for just a tad, sitting in the chair for 20 minutes and turn it of before going back to bed. Shes happy now.
• 07:30- 16:30 I sleep deply, all day long. Aircon is still off and I’m actually hot now - time to turn it on. O’hai Mr Cialis, you’re still with me I see! Aircon proves to be a good idea.
• 17:00 - 18:15: Sleep like a baby, but not feverish this time..leaves the aircon on.

I cant believe I slept that long. The food thing was easy to ID because of the timing and duration and other qualities not mentioned here. But the fever of that intensity coming on so fast and only for 12 hours? I doubt it was the food.

Not everyone, just the ones that I seem to run into here on Boracay. People on the hillside have this thing for staring point-blank at you. Carrying bags? Everyone will look to see what you have and talk about your purchase in Tagalog.

At the expense of having people say ‘there he goes again talking down about the locals…’, I will admit this about my personal stereotypes: I assosiate this behavior with low-class, uncouth, and people of diminished intelligence. These are people that I refuse to associate with, here or back west. In the USA its like walking thru a trailer park. I refuse to be that poor and stupid again. Have all the pride you want! Seriously, whatever make you feel good about yourself - but don’t think for a second that means everyone else doesn’t think of you as the guttersnipe that you are. I made my own way off the streets and even continued a private education while homeless for a few weeks. I spent my time in jail. I made my own way in this world. I turned down offers from family because they were all attached with strings. I joined the military and afterwards left my own damn country just to be successful! I have no sympathy for those that choose not to.

Yes, I look down upon such people. They are free to sit and watch Jerry Springer all day (or Pinoy Prime here) but I do not have to like them. I have every right to dismiss them.

Ole girl came back after fixing herself for the night. I told her I felt like shit and only wanted to lay down for the night. I had to flat out tell her to get out so I could lock the door for the night…in or out. Simple. She didn’t get it. She wanted to hang around, talk about how she was going out to the bars (w/o actually leaving anytime soon), our friend james could tell I was getting agitated and stayed outside…she cant take a clue even when its said aloud.  I know what she would have done only because shes done it repeatedly - she piddles around like that for an hour then calls me out of the room to come lock the door behind her.

I’m posting this one from the 10th but lets see…hmm…….what did I do on Thursday night on the 8th…oh yea, nothing. Stayed in the house with ole’ girl. Lazy stuff. Didn’t wake up until around sunset I think. More cleaning. Was renting a room to a Professor from Manila and supposed to meet up with him but, wait, thats right….I had a touch of dysentery that day! Turns out the dirt in the tiny skin-grooves of a carrot in the Philippines is more than likely to have amoebas in it. That causes a lot of rear-exit liquid expulsion. I only found this out the next day but now I remember, liquid goes in and liquid comes out.

Amazingly, they grow a ton of the vegetables locally on Boracay. Seems that stuff like potatoes, carrots, cabbage, and stuff - they grow really fast here. diarrhea, I do not like that illness. I’m getting weary of feeling sick once a week too.

I think it started out poorly since I didn’t even leave the house until about midnight, after half a bottle of Tanduay rum. I recall Red Pirates closing down and moving in a northern direction. I ended up everywhere and nowhere. There was Isla Bayla, Bamboo, Juice Bar, some other place I don’t really remember much about except everyone there seemed preoccupied with acting like aristocrats but still managed to use the body language of trailer trash. I got the distinct impression that they were all uneducated people in nice clothes. So I staggered onward. Boracay party places needed my presence.

Once I headed to Station 2, one point was reinforced last night: being nice to people has its benefits. I got free drinks everywhere I went except for Summer Place, (not only will this NEVER happen, but they’re some of the most expensive around). Bartenders and managers that recognized me were like, forget it and give me some dap! (dapped)_ I only mention this because there were a few people I know that were snotty towards the staff at a few places and have since had their bills padded by other peoples drinks and almost always full-tourist price. Normally, my drinks are discounted to a more local rate, which is pretty cool.

There was Summer Place, Hey Jude, Sumer Place again, Isla Bayla again, and I forget where else I was at but I do remember closing down Summer Place and my body chemistry was fairly toxic by then. Is it bad that I’m straight but still know most of the ladyboys working the crowd? I found out one thing though: the professional transvestite entertainers that work at the Amazing Show, well, they don’t mix with regular ladyboys and seem to look down on them…well, I shouldn’t say ’seem’ because thats exactly what one of them told me. They’re still cool as hell, but I guess I never realized there was a classist mentality in that group.

I ran into a party girl I remembered from my early days here. She seemed coked out of her head and couldn’t stop talking for more than a few seconds. I assume thats what it was, but I didn’t ask.

I found out that Andoks had bottles of Red Bull. Whoops. They should have kept that secret from me.

I even stopped into a few places at daybreak to hang with some of the working girls that didn’t get any business…kinda like all the drunks going to IHOP in the states, only this was with prostitutes at bar-lounges that don’t close, so yea, more drinking.

I didn’t get back to the house until around 7:30 this morning and tried staying awake but that was a lost cause. I started freezing for some reason and killed the aircon around 0830. Very fitful sleep, stomach was having a twinge. My phone started blowing up with calls and text messages from a girl out here and finally I texted her back to leave me alone to sleep and turned the ringer off. She wanted to come over at noon.

Finally I woke up around 20:00 tonight and found a lot of texts and missed calls on my phone. Damnit! My good friend was having her 21st birthday party down on the beach and I missed it. Other people even texted me to say how good the BBQ and beer was and to get my ass down there. Honestly, even if I had been awake early enough, I don’t think I would have made it…it’s now 1:00 am the next morning and I’m still feeling like crap.

Damn–there went a power surge and drop…airconditioner is making funny noises now. See? just how the hell are we having a brown-out at 1:00 in the morning? It’s not even hot out tonight. What the hell?!?! I went to unplug some appliances and come back to find a cockroach on my floor - I friggin hate those things and we rarely ever see them here. I keep the house nice and poisoned.

Anyway, I’m still feeling ill and am sipping on a salty chicken-ramen soup while at the computer. Thats my big Saturday night. What the hell was I thinking! I could have partied like a rock-star tonight with my closest best friends but noooo…I had to go out last night by myself and just meet friends along the way.