This humors me more that they focused on the Expat getting an STD from his wife instead of the assumption that his local wife was a freelance prostitute. Oh well, I guess even Ho’s need Hubby’s. BORACAY – There’s just too much danger around. This is what the Aklan Provincial Health Office (PHO) tried to [...]
Edited…. yes edited…. Like all great minds, Mike Googled this issue until we reached a similar random chat that now defined milks proper status on the boiling chain if said milk was on Kilimanjaro: I’m not going to edit this again. EDIT: I truly did not remember posting this until a day later after a [...]
The Boracay Blackout Alliance isn’t about power outages or brownouts, it’s about the mysterious affliction whereby people suddenly do things for no other reason than it being out of their normal character. Normally this happens when alone; the fact that it’s often caught in public is a hint just how common this occurrence really is. [...]
Bitch, shut your hole and stop wasting my carbon credits. I copyright this usage type of carbon credits note right godamn now.
All I need in life is a random weed in a coke bottle and a little rum.
Got up early Sunday for some swimming and snorkeling before the homies started acting like opening day at a trailer-park swimming pool…about 5:30 or 6am. Annnnnnd….brownout, just as I step outside. No bother, not going to be home anyway. Out swimming around was pretty good although visibility was poor. Got about 1.5 kilometers out and [...]
He said: Screw you guys, there’s gotta be rum around here somewhere.
This goes to show that something as benign as snorkeling might claim lives in a 100% tourist setting. Many tourists don’t swim so the operators put them in life-vests, mask/snorkel, and fins to go put-putting around a shallow coral area. Imagine a group of people, all face down in the water with life vests and [...]
Nothing says culture like communal hand ripping of animal flesh from the bone. Why bother with a plate to start with? I would shit a water buffalo if one of these people bothered to use that spoon or fork after lubing up with pig grease.
Ever had hard-boiled eggs numb your tongue like a taste of cocaine would? I went for a change in diet and boiled up a handfull of eggs from the sari sari store next to Red Pirates. Being drunk at the time, the numbness didn’t surprise me as much as it should have so I lost [...]
So, there I was early on a Sunday morning, about 4am making plans for leaving Boracay on a weeklong hiatus. Sometimes ya just need to get back to civilization with decently cooked food, drinkable water, and most importantly… electricity. My whole point in leaving is the frustration of daily brownouts lasting anywhere from 30 minutes [...]
Gary knows where his bread is buttered. Never ventures to the floor for long before coming back for succulent fruit rinds and water.
There is a popular desire to discount anal probing by aliens as the fanciful and uneducated creation by inbred minds in the working class of truly rural areas. It readily makes sense as a creation of ass-backwards minds to assign motive that an advanced culture would use their ability to manipulate the laws of quantum [...]
I found this in a snippit of newspaper the pharmacies in the Philippines use to dispense drugs. FOREIGNER SEEKS GF: Age 67, 1,64m, 60kg; I’m educated, talented, politically leftist, healthy, humorous. I seek (again) GF: sexy (big butt, thick legs), around age 30, educated, honest, loving, from Iloilo only. English only pls. No gold diggers, [...]
The winds finally changed directions for Habagat season, meaning my western side of the island is getting cooler air and my happy ass can go outside. With the wind, it’s like the difference between night and day for temperature around here. I spent most of the day in the water, something I’ve not done in [...]
After that last post, I travelled to some government offices only to find a new requirement. Here it goes: office. ATM. Another ATM. Pulled tendon. Office. Copy center. Office. Picture center, a different picture center. Office. Wait. More paperwork. SeaTac computer hole. Store. Deli. Home, damnit! The print center they recomended is called DigiPrint, located [...]
Thats what I should name this, the BBB. Boracay Brownout Blog. Its gotten to be as boring and tedious and a brownout or life in general on Boracay. Todays started sometime 8ish am and is still kickin’ after lunchtime hours. Had a generator but some genious though that’d be a good time to plug in [...]
I have been asked many times about why I hate brownouts so much since Boracay is all about outside activities anyway. Guess what, you can suck on the great outside. I don’t like sailboats, sunsets, humidity, bright sunlight, food poisoning, or windless and cloudless days where the water is like glass ….. Which is what [...]
Any modern writing course demands this opening sentence to summarize the the topic. I and a glass of vodka/grape Tang, however, demand said course shut the hell up. We love our Boracay power outages so much that prostitutes offer a brownout discount and you know me, always a child of the dark. Holy Week on [...]
Yup, another brownout on Boracay. As usual, they never make the news for an all-day outage on Boracay, but a few hours in Manila will. Of course, when every power outage starts exactly at 7:00 am you know it was scheduled. After almost a month of not walking I’m white as a ghost and a [...]
Found this in my daily contracting headlines, “11 Pardoned OFW’s miss Flight.” I cannot recall having ever met a human this stupid, if so then I’m sure there was drool involved. Most people would have been the first in line to board. So what happened? These upstanding gentlemen were busted in Saudi Arabia for selling [...]
Found a small news item, apparently some fool in Paquiaos camp thought it would be a good idea to have him do a concert in Hawaii. Its tickets failed so bad, they cancelled it. His spokesmans claimed surprise. I say his spokesman is a fucking idiot. By any modern standard for 10 years, Pacquiao has [...]
Why? Seriously, why do people like sunsets? Most people have encountered night time and unless they’re some hostage rape-toy in a basement, these so called ‘night times’ are experienced half a persons life. This is normally preceeded by a fucking sunset. Remember that annoyingly repeated statistic about most dry-weather traffic accidents happen in early evening [...]
After staying up all night dealing with a three year investment wasted, we agreed to just take the principal back and drink ourselves stupid. As he’s in Louisiana and I’m on Boracay, my drunk ass went swimming before the sun came up. I suspect he fell in a swamp, again. Grabbing a mask and snorkle [...]
Spending a few days relaxing the leg from some non-existant injury, this morning served up a healthy plate of ‘FU’, sinus problems, ankle twist, and a piece of glass in the heel. I mean c’mon, how the hell did a chunk of beer bottle get in my foot while sleeping? The sandal-vendor ninjas sneak in [...]
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