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Got up early Sunday for some swimming and snorkeling before the homies started acting like opening day at a trailer-park swimming pool…about 5:30 or 6am. Annnnnnd….brownout, just as I step outside. No bother, not going to be home anyway. Out swimming around was pretty good although visibility was poor. Got about 1.5 kilometers out and [...]

22
June

Where’s the Rum?

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He said: Screw you guys, there’s gotta be rum around here somewhere.

This goes to show that something as benign as snorkeling might claim lives in a 100% tourist setting. Many tourists don’t swim so the operators put them in life-vests, mask/snorkel, and fins to go put-putting around a shallow coral area. Imagine a group of people, all face down in the water with life vests and [...]

19
June

Civilized

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Nothing says culture like communal hand ripping of animal flesh from the bone. Why bother with a plate to start with? I would shit a water buffalo if one of these people bothered to use that spoon or fork after lubing up with pig grease.

19
June

Cracked Out Chickens

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Ever had hard-boiled eggs numb your tongue like a taste of cocaine would? I went for a change in diet and boiled up a handfull of eggs from the sari sari store next to Red Pirates. Being drunk at the time, the numbness didn’t surprise me as much as it should have so I lost [...]

09
June

Electrically Challenged Boracay

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So, there I was early on a Sunday morning, about 4am making plans for leaving Boracay on a weeklong hiatus. Sometimes ya just need to get back to civilization with decently cooked food, drinkable water, and most importantly… electricity. My whole point in leaving is the frustration of daily brownouts lasting anywhere from 30 minutes [...]

05
June

My new pet, Gary!

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Gary knows where his bread is buttered. Never ventures to the floor for long before coming back for succulent fruit rinds and water.

05
June

There is a popular desire to discount anal probing by aliens as the fanciful and uneducated creation by inbred minds in the working class of truly rural areas. It readily makes sense as a creation of ass-backwards minds to assign motive that an advanced culture would use their ability to manipulate the laws of quantum [...]

02
June

GoldDiggers Need Not Apply

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I found this in a snippit of newspaper the pharmacies in the Philippines use to dispense drugs. FOREIGNER SEEKS GF: Age 67, 1,64m, 60kg; I’m educated, talented, politically leftist, healthy, humorous. I seek (again) GF: sexy (big butt, thick legs), around age 30, educated, honest, loving, from Iloilo only. English only pls. No gold diggers, [...]